Friday, 1 March 2013

Today “I” Shall DIE Laughing – Chortling & Croaking Simultaneously – Making The Happiest Corpse Ever Seen – So, Let The Whole World Laugh Along Deliriously – Singin In Perfect Harmony – “If You’ve Got A Fucked Cough – You’ve Gotta Fuck Off!” – As “I” Fuck Off – To The Happy Hunting Grounds


My Take #5 to yesterday’s post got FUCKED because of this Current Account Deficit that perennially plagues nude elly – so, I hung around aimlessly on the enormous lawns outside – where, what do I see? – but a Brand New Electric Lawnmower – which makes NO SENSE – not only because of the Perennial Current Account Deficit – but also because a lawn measuring 250m x 35m can scarcely be mowed as a room is vacuum cleaned, with a cable trailing – and, while informing all the MORONS struggling with this Electric Lawn Mower what a Petrol-Engined Lawn Mower is all about – it STRUCK me:







Hey! The Proprietor & Chief Psychiatrist of this Rehab drinks LOTS of BLACK COFFEE.




And HIS is what "I" would call a CAPITAL ACCOUNT DEFICIT!







And then, MY MIND reflected upon other coffee drinkers – beginning with that mallu prakash karat the COMMUNIST (Karl Kautskyite) – and then, The Great Vladimir Illyich Lenin, a True RED MARXIST REVOLUTIONARY – and, while thinking of the latter, my mind turned to VIENNA – for it is here that LENIN plotted the Bolshevik Revolution inside a CAFÉ – and this Viennese café remains a Major Tourist Attraction, and its Proprietor shows off what is now Universally Known as “Comrade Lenin’s Table.”



And then, MY MIND reflected on the INSANITY of the Proprietor of this Viennese café – that he should accord Temporary Property Rights to a COMMUNIST! – while “I” – had “I” been the Proprietor of this Viennese café – would have ordered lenin and his gang of comrades to seat themselves wherever they might find space – and as for their coffee – “I” would have ordered that it be delivered to THEM in a PITCHER – do be drunk as COMMON PROPERTY!




It was about the Same Time that lenin and his comrades were ENJOYING Temporary Property Rights to this table at this Viennese café that Herr Doktor Professor SIGMUND FREUD was ENJOYING COCAINE in this very same Imperial Capital of the Hapsburgs – but before I get into that – let me continue with this Nasty STIMULANT: Coffee.





GERMANY – is The World’s Biggest Importer of COLOMBIAN COFFEE – and, as I pointed out yesterday – BERLIN has LOST ITS BEARINGS – in the GEOGRAPHICAL sense of this word, referring to COMPASS, and to NAVIGATION – by dispatching its North Atlantic Armed Forces to LANDLOCKED Mazar-e-Sharif, Afghanistan – their supplies being delivered by NATO TRUCKS that are unloaded in KARACHI, an Indian Ocean port – and this is INCOMPREHENSIBLE, really, when German Engineering manufactures the World’s Best BALL BEARINGS!



COFFEE – MY MIND then started getting rather SUSPICIOUS of this STIMULANT.





And then – MY MIND asked of itself The Question:




Who The FUCK Is Commander-in-Chief of NATO?



THE commander-in-chief  WITHOUT BEARINGS?






And then – I realised it was COFFEE once again – for the USSA is a Very Big Coffee Drinking Nation-State.




And then – MY MIND thought of ITALY – and of the Entire Middle East – and that The Original Coffee Bean is called ARABICA – and how it was Discovered By A GOAT!



Then – from this Historical Fact – MY MIND proceeded onto the HISTORY of all these cafés of Europe – how they replaced COCOA BARS – and it STRUCK me that it would be a Very Good Idea if lots and lots of HERR DOKTOR PROFESSOR SIGMUND FREUD WÜNDERBÄRS serving COCA TEA and whatever other COCA-BASED STIMULANTS entrepreneurs would churn out to Keep The Customer Stimulated & Happy as well as SANE – would enter into Catallactic Competition with all these INSANITY CAUSING cafés – and Wipe Them Out in A Gale Of Creative Destruction.




HA HA HA HA HA HA HA – oh! – how “I” laughed to myself as I thought of this next post of  mine – especially considering the FACT that I have only just pointed out that whatever the CRIMINALLY INSANE (coffee addict) ben bernanke considers to be STIMULUS is in reality a SLOW POISON – and in that post I provided the ANALogy of these MORONIC German NATO troops in Mazar-e-Sharif – where Fuckin’ Far Out CHARAS is produced – and how The Market Demand for German SUVs – equipped, of course, with The World’s Best GERMAN BALL BEARINGS – would SHOOT if these MORONIC German NATO troops in Mazar-e-Sharif were recalled – and LUFTHANSA CARGO flew in-and-out every hour instead, carrying out CHARAS and carrying back GOLD!




HA HA HA HA HA HA HA – oh! – how much “I” laughed to myself as I thought that “I” have now Discovered a New Science – that is, ANALogy – all about How To Stick It Up THEIR Ante – as with the “Greek Way” – named so probably after Alexander the Moron – but “I” would much rather prefer to call it THE KEYNESIAN WAY – or, in other words:



ANALogy is The Science of Sticking It Up The Ante of All Keynesians In The Keynesian Way.



Of course, this Root ROCK Reggae tune-in-my-head – this Cannabliss Song – then turned MY MIND towards TOBACCO – for Nicotine, Caffeine, and Tannin are all more-or-less the same – and it STRUCK me – FUCK!



CASTRO –coffee and cigars! – and FUCKIN” INSANE!


ENGLAND - Tea & Tobacco - and NUTS!


JAPAN – Heavy Tea & Heavy Tobacco – gone INSANE with keynesian SLOW POISON.


CHINA – Even Heavier Tea & Even Heavier Tobacco – with COMMUNISTS addicted to bernanke’s SLOW POISON.



Hey! – this TOBACCO and this TEA – they are BOTH to be immediately placed under my mind’s Highly Suspicious list.


And so – MY MIND proceeded to THINK back on TOBACCO – and then a scene from the film Cromwell flashed through my mind – of all the men discussing the impending execution of Charles I SMOKING FURIOUSLY in a closed room – and I mean REALLY FURIOUSLY.


After which, I thought – what the FUCK! – just a Few Decades later – they created the bigger mess of crown-in-parliament, plus the bank of england’s note monopoly – which meant – to me – that this tobacco stuff is NOT at all good for the mind – most importantly, tobacco could be Extremely Injurious to Memory.



But I needed More Historical Evidence to clinch my case against tobacco – and MY  MIND found it in a jiffy – in GLASGOW – the World’s Biggest Tobacco Entrepôt in Adam Smith’s time – and Glaswegians FORGOT all about BOTH Adam Smith as well as Tobacco within a Few Decades.



Having now established a Clear Medical Case Against Coffee, Tobacco, and Tea – “I” then proceed to think like The Founder of the New Science of ANALogy – so as to STRIKE at the ROOT – or, the FUNDAMENT, as they say.



I Therefore Declare that the American Psychiatric Association – publishers of the DSM Manuals that “MISinstruct” the Psychiatric PROFESSION Worldwide – are Guilty of Medical Malpractice – they are the “Medical Support” behind the UN-US WAR on DRUGS Worldwide – and this LAWLESS as well as CRIMINALLY INSANE INTERNATIONAL TYRANNY – as well as this FUCKED UP American Psychiatric Association – must be immediately deemed ILLEGITIMATE – Worldwide!




"I" WANNA TAKE YOU HIGHER!




What a Song – from My Generation – another Great Song – also of My Generation.





Yeah – My Generation of Americans – in the year 1968 – assembled in MILLIONS and shouted FUCK UNCLE SAM and his FUCKING WAR – of which Great Historical Event here is the IMMORTAL VIDEO.



Yeah – My Generation used the Good Word FUCK – where this Good Word DESERVED to be used – and, what is more, My Generation had something called:





A FUCK KING ATTITUDE!





Now, let’s get back to some Final Great LAUGHS:




Yeah – I was really laughing so fuckin’ hard to myself thinking of this post – and of this “When you’ve got a Fucked Cough – you’ve gotta Fuck Off!” song of mine – and then the fuckin’ tobacco struck – and I began coughing-and-laughing together so fuckin’ hard that I thought – this is The End – no Colombia for me – and I shall shortly be off to The Happy Hunting Grounds.



FIN.



And I also thought – what the FUCK – at least I’ll have died happy – chortling&croaking simultaneously – and that I would surely make for the Happiest Looking Corpse Ever Seen – what with Big & Wide Beatific Smile on My Dead Face -  and all that happy thinking then proceeded to The Everafter – to the Metaphysical Speculation that is a Natural Component of Natural Religion – any MY MIND thought in terms of HAPPY HUNTING GROUNDS – though I really don’t know why it did so – and I I dreamed of these Happy Hunting Grounds I FROZE WITH FUCKIN’ HORROR! – Hey! – what the FUCK! – these Happy Hunting Grounds are the Metaphysical Speculations of the World’s First Smokers of Tobacco – which means that if I hit them I shall be FUCKING COUGHING MY FUCKED COUGH FOREVER AND EVER AFTER - into The Evereverafter!



FUCKIN’ HELL! – I thought – would surely be BETTER!



And the Happy Thoughts then turned to this FUCK de India FUDGET – about which The Best Comment I read today is from the Same Good Fella Dhirendra Kumar in HT – and there is a brief report on the print edition placed directly above Dhirendra’s column on the Stock Market Crash of yesterday that I also recommend to all my Indian readers.



The Worst Comments that I read were by Two Women BANKSTER’s MOLLs – first, Naina Lal Kidwai of HSBC who is also heading the FICCI chamber of commerce – and with “naina” meaning “eyes” it struck me that her beady eyes are glued upon the Filthy Lucre, mistaking something that glitters to be gold – further, that FICCI ought to be renamed FUCKII and called a GAS CHAMBER of commerce – all Fuckin’ Gobar Gas – all this gobar gas directed towards supporting this FUCK de India FUDGET.


The second BANKSTER’s MOLL I came across was Chandni Kochhar of ICICI Bank – and since her name means “MOOSHINE” it struck me as being a Most Appropriate Name for a Peddler of Moonshine – the horrible grogs that AL CAPONE peddled in the SPEAKEASIES of the Prohibition Era  - and it is this Prohibition Era – itself caused by legislationISM – that CREATED GANGSTERS – and created GANGSTER’s MOLLS as well.



Therefore, all this BULLCRAP about A New Bank to be Staffed by WOMEN – is The Mass Recruitment of Bankster’s Molls and nothing else – and WOMEN SAVERS ought to carefully STUDY what Dhirendra has written, as well as that report I mentioned on this Stock Market Crash of yesterday – itself an indicator that all THEIR TALK on “equities” being the Great Investment for SAVERS is nothing short of A LIE that ought to be NAILED.




Yeah – two BUDGETARY ALLOCATIONS struck – some 15,000 crores for Urban BUSES! – and some 55,000 crores for INTERNAL SECURITY!



It's really like ban ki moon of the UN going to CONGO with ELEVEN NATION-STATES of the surrounds - to "broker peace" - and if he came with ALL his 150+ member nation-states to CHATTISGARH he would NOT accomplish ANYTHING I bet.



LAW establishes ORDER when ALL agree that they find these laws agreeable and further, that they require the Protection of these Laws.

POLITICS - internal as well as international - entrenches divisions, creates more of these, and foments DISORDER. 


POLITICS - is DISRUPTIVE.




NOTE about this FUDGET - that THEIR Total Expenditure are going UP - which means inflationISM will continue UNABATED - which will FURTHER FUCK your savings - and ALL the Heavy New Taxes on real goods & services will KILL many Markets - and hurt many CONSUMERS as well. Do read the columns by Manas Chakravarty and Niranjan Rajadhyaksha in Mint for confirmation.




All this Heavier & Completely Insane Welfarist-InflationISM - this "Being CRUEL only in order to PRETEND to be kind" -  is directed towards BRIBING the POOREST-of-the POOREST voters at the forthcoming elections - so All Good Hardworking & Honest INDIANS ought to sing the Song in the video above with the Same Beginning - but with Other Lyrics, such as:



And it's 1, 2, 3,
What're we voting for?


And it's 1, 3, 3,
What're we paying taxes for?




And so on and so forth. 


Many QUESTIONS to be asked by YOU all.





Think things over real hard all you Good People of FUCK de India – for all these are Indicators that the ENGINE of this MYTHICAL – or even DELUSIONAL – National Economy – is COUGHING & SPLUTTERING – and YOU KNOW that anyone with a FUCKED COUGH has gotta FUCK OFF!


As for ME – I must head out real quick to COLOMBIA – because that FUCKED COUGH of last evening – when it combined with DELIRIOUS LAUGHTER – gave me a Real Big Scare of An Impending Happy Demise – and you now know the rest of that story – how it ended in SHEER HORROR at the WRONG PARADISE – so, I must try and live forever – without coughing at all – and without any tea or coffee either.



HEALTHY BODY – and a VERY HEALTHY MIND.


These – and some Great Music from My Generation – I recommend to ALL the Good People of this Planet.


"I" WANNA TAKE YOU HIGHER!


That’s ME!





Let me add some final words on The Future Prospects of this FUCK de India - where CANNABLISS INDICA is associated with GOD - indeed, the Greatest God of the Pantheon - and NOT with any GOAT as with the fuckcoffee arabica - and where the World's Most Fucked-Up CAR is freely sold under the name Tata INDICA because of PROTECTIONism and SWADESHI - Naked Fascism, really - well, ALL your Future Prospects lie in The Universal Remedies of REPUBLICANism, and all the rest associated with CIVIC INDEPENDENCE - with LOCALISM and not CENTRALISM.



NO ONE CAN FIX THIS MESS - otherwise - and NO ELECTIONS will ever help. 




And I shall do a Take #5 on yesterday's post - soon.